The future star of whatever

June 17, 2011 by Julia
Filed under Parenting

At gymnastics, a tween girls’ class was practicing vaulting next to my daughter’s beginner class. The parents were observing from an upstairs deck, and one mom literally shot up out of her seat when it was her daughter’s turn at the vault. She started shouting down to her daughter, “Run faster! You need to run straighter! Straighten up! Jump higher!” This happened every vault, and not only was she shouting at her daughter, the mom has a son who was practicing with his class elsewhere in the gym and doing the same to him.

This wouldn’t be the first time that I’ve observed parents pushing their children to be the next great athlete, and to be really honest, it makes me just a hair uncomfortable. We’re at gymnastics because my daughter really wants to learn how to cartwheel on the playground with her friends, and my attempt to teach her how to cartwheel in our living room ended in disaster. After getting my face bashed in a few times with my kid’s foot, I turned this one over to the professionals who can be paid to get kicked in the face accidentally.

Every time I hear an overzealous parent who sounds like he or she is grooming a child into a future star athlete, the teacher in me can’t help but think that the professional athlete’s world is so small. It’s a great dream to have, and even better if the child shows some natural aptitude, but what if these parents put all the same amount of effort in grooming their child’s education? What about pushing their kids to excel in math, reading, science, history, art, or music where any combination of these also will support many future paths?

I hear coaches shout this a lot at kids, “No pain, no gain.” With sports, it seems natural to think this way. Push the body, and at some point, you’ll improve, right? In education, math especially, I rarely ever hear parents use the same mindset, to push the brain past the confusion. It’s really easy to just chalk poor math skills to someone not being a math person, but I don’t often hear a parent excusing poor athletic performance. Practice makes better is so ingrained with sports.

This bringe me back to the mom shouting at her daughter (and son). From my vantage point, the child appeared average, like all the other girls in her class. If she doesn’t crack from the parental pressure, she’ll become a better gymnast no doubt from practice. She may even be good enough to compete, but does she look like the athletic prodigies on the Olympics? To me, no, so I was uncomfortable when I heard the mom sideline coaching, and maybe I shouldn’t have been. I totally understand the values of sports, learning about sportsmanship, confidence, and dedication. Maybe the daughter wants to be a professional gymnast, and the mom is simply facilitating the process. I just couldn’t help but to think that I hope this mom might also be pushing her child’s emotional and brain development with the same fervor because she’s more likely to be a future star in a non-athletic career than in competitive gymnastics.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m wrong not to have loftier dreams for my kids, or maybe I want my kids to pursue a more attainable dream, letting my “practical” bias color my parenting. Meh. Who am I to judge, right?