Best wishes for the new year
As the new year approaches, I reflect upon all that has happened in this past year. I treasure the good memories and make mental notes to myself to learn from my mistakes. I tend not to be a grudge holder, but any grudges that may linger in the dark closets of my mind, I let them go. The first of January is like a fresh breath of air for me, a big “do over” with a chance to right the wrongs, a chance to be a better spouse, a better parent, a better friend.
Especially in this past year, more often than not when hubby came home from work, I threw the children at him. ”Take them! I need a break!” By my calculations, no matter what scenarios I concocted for hubby’s day, my day somehow was always harder. I’ve had the children for more hours! I work, then pick up the kids, cook dinner, so the least he could do is take the shrieking beings away from me the very second he walks through the door. Right? This year I vow to give the poor guy 10 minutes, maybe more if I am feeling generous, to put his bag down and get a glass of water before I hurl the kids at him. That seems like such a small gesture, but 10 minutes to unwind, without two shorties climbing all over, can do wonders for one’s emotional health.
This year, I am even more resolved to teach my children about the difference between necessity and desire, particularly coming off the most indulgent month of the year. The past few days, my family and I have been sulking and grumbling at each other because our scheduled vacation to New York City was abruptly cancelled due to the blizzard. I saw that my older child especially was taking a cue from me and hubby, though hers played out in the form of whining about not playing in the snow, missing out on her cousin’s birthday party. Kiddo was generally acting more diva-ish than I cared to tolerate.
As she carried on in the car this morning about this or that not going her way, a homeless man stood on the corner panhandling, and the contrast between our two plights suddenly became embarrassingly glaring. I reached to the backseat and asked my daughter to hand me the bag of breakfast tacos that we just picked up. She did so, and I rolled down the window. I simply handed the white paper bag out to the man on the corner who shouted at my car, “God bless you!” and all I could think is no…I am not the one who needs blessing. Some would cringe that I was enabling the homeless man, but the look of pure shock on my child’s face, that I would give away her precious egg and cheese tacos is a lesson that I am sure she will remember. I explained to my daughter that she isn’t starving, that we aren’t starving, that our cancelled vacation was in the grand scheme of things, no big deal, but this emaciated man who is standing there may not have eaten for days or may not eat for days. That is starving. That is need. We are lucky. We have desires. We don’t have “needs.”
This brings me to my third resolution for the year. People need friends, simple and plain. I don’t care for histrionics, back talking drama. I like sharing a good conversation and a good laugh with friends who can be honest and kind. Without a support system, being a parent to young children especially is far too isolating and overwhelming of a task, and I intend to nurture my friendships.
…and with that…
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne!
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
Have a HAPPY NEW YEAR! I wish you all the best in 2011.
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